


Voices of the Condemned

by k_yuuki



Category: Fate/Zero
Genre: Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Matou Family Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 12:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11208423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_yuuki/pseuds/k_yuuki
Summary: How does Matou Kariya run away from his family?





	Voices of the Condemned

**Author's Note:**

> Those who has not seen the anime, beware of Spoilers.  
> For those who disliked OCs, the OC character here did a lot, but he was not the main point of the story, I think?

Matou Kariya was eight when he realized how normal family should be like. It was by discreetly spying an unassuming suburban house not too far from the Matou family mansion. The father played around with his children, the mother was watching with a kind smile on her face as she cooked while giving out comments, the children laughed as free and warm as the summer wind.

Compared to the people of his house, which was full of gloom and fear, it was the definition of heaven for him. He was young and talented, his Grandfather liked him more than Byakuya and Mother was always looked so in pain while father drunk his mind out. Byakuya used to be close with him but now he hated him as he always got Grandfather’s attention, whether it was in magic or school.

He disliked his grandfather a lot and would not mind if the attention got switched to his brother. But he was more magically able than Byakuya, so Grandfather never gave Byakuya his attention much. The lessons were interesting, if not for the worms. It was disgusting.

He was forbidden to go to the basement, at least until he was eleven, where his education would revolve around the worms, Grandfather's familiars. He hoped that day would never come.

He met Zenjou Aoi the next semester and then with the rival next door Magi family’s heir, Tohsaka Tokiomi with her. They soon became close friends.

“Kariya?” Tokiomi called, after he just finished yet another brutal session with Grandfather and ran away for a moment of reprieve. He had raced with his little legs as far as he could and found himself at the Tohsaka mansion. It was raining hard and the temperature was freezing, but he had cared not when he did his escape.

“Ah, Toh—, I mean, Tokiomi- _kun_ ,” he timidly answered. Aoi had insisted they used their first names. “I’m sorry to bother you, I’ll leave the premise.”

“No, no!” the Tohsaka heir protested, gripped his wrist tightly and he flinched at the pain. “Stay. It’s raining. I’ll call your house.”

“Y, you don’t need to,” he scrambled up to say, paled at the thought of Grandfather’s would be ire. “There’s storm coming and you’re drenched. Come on in before you catch a cold!” he scolded.

Kariya flinched again at the tone, “So—sorry.”

“Whatever, just go in!”

He stayed for the night and gone before the morning sun rose, making Tokiomi wondered if it was all a dream.

Grandfather shoved him to the worms when he got back home as punishment for a couple of days. He screamed and screamed, asked for help that would never come. Not even Byakuya came for him, nor mother who was always so kind to him, and not father who was too scared to disobey Grandfather.

It felt like years he was down there, although it was not even a week. When he went back to school, faced with concerned Aoi and Tokiomi, he attempted his best to smile and lied through his teeth. He tried to get used to the new routine: went to school, faced Tokiomi and Aoi and acted as normal as he could, did his homework before went back to the mansion, where Grandfather would be angry with him for returning so late and left him in the basement with the worms as punishment or just be thrown there anyway as part of the training.

“Kariya- _kun_?” Aoi asked, “Are you coming with us to the festival?”

He wanted to say yes, yet he was afraid of Grandfather’s fury. In the end, the illogical side of him won and he nodded hesitantly. “I need to say something to brother first.”

He walked out the classroom to search for Byakuya, whom he found loitering near the teacher’s lounge. “Brother?”

“Ah!” the other’s startled yell came out, “You’re scaring me, Kariya!” he pouted.

The feeling of nostalgia hit him, tears came out when the realization he had not talked much to his family except for Grandfather. Byakuya was stunned before hugged him.

He calmed down although it took a while. “I'm sorry, brother, I don't know why—”

“Shh,” he chastised him. “Now, why are you looking for me?”

“Aoi- _san_ asked me to go to the festival.”

“Go, have fun, little brother. I’ll take care of grandpa,” Byakuya replied, giving him a reassuring smile even though they both knew that it was impossible. “Be safe!”  
  
“I will!” he smiled, the first guinea one after so long. He rushed back to Aoi and saw she was with Tokiomi, a giddy smile formed on his face. “I got his permission!”

Tokiomi laughed, “The festival?” Kariya nodded excitedly. “Let’s go together!”

It was something he had never seen before. The illuminating warm lights, the smell of delicious food, the laughters that filled the air and the sheer mass of people swarming around. He wanted to burn this to his mind. “Wow.”

The two of them laughed, Tokiomi grinned, “Your first time here?”

He nodded vigorously, “There are so many people!”

Aoi smiled, so gentle, it reminded him of the house he once saw on his way back home, “You haven’t seen the Summer Festival, it’s even more crowded! And more stalls!”

They pulled him around, gave him food when he said he had no money with him, “You need to eat more, Kariya,” Tokiomi protested. “You look like you’re going to be blown away with the wind.”

He pouted, “I’m not that thin!”

“You are,” they both replied and then looked at each other before burst out laughing. “Come on! The fireworks will be soon! We need to find a good spot!”

The sky was full with flowers that made out of lights, “Woah,” he mumbled in amazement again. “It’s that magic? So beautiful!”

For he was trained as a mage yet never used any magic, but if he could make those kind of magic where everybody could laugh with, he would not mind going through the pain.

Tokiomi glanced at him with indecipherable look while Aoi laughed at him.” No! It is made using fire powder and with fire, they will explode!”

He drank the information given, marveling in the beauty of it. “I see.”

Of course, when he returned, the somber expression on Byakuya’s face was enough for him to know the consequences of his little outing. He went to the elderly man’s chamber and looked down in guilt and fear. “Grandfather.”

“So you know what are you doing, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Grandfather.”

The older scoffed. “We’ll see how sorry you’re after. Come.”

He was brought once again to the basement. “We’ll see how you take your punishment this time.”

The door closed, so with it the shattered hope he had held for the 11 years of his life.

 _Endure_.

* * *

 Tohsaka Tokiomi was not a friendly person. He was frigid, one had once said to him, and cold and self-entitled, spoiled, arrogant. Yet he had 2 best friends, Zenjou Aoi and Matou Kariya. He had his doubt when Aoi had pulled him to befriend with ‘the kind, unassuming boy’ she found, but it seemed the boy, since he was the younger of two sons, were not taught in any Magical knowledge.

_Pity._

He had met with Matou Byakuya once, the older Matou’s magic circuit was laughable, while Kariya’s was better.

His personality did not really fit for an old, highly regarded Magi family’s heir though. So he made his own assumption and decided to not give the other the gracious title of being his friend.

That was, until in one rainy day, he found the smaller man looking so lost in front of his house. He looked so close to crying and thus Tokiomi, being a graceful host he was, invited the other in. After a debate and a phone call which involved in a lot of yelling, he pointed Kariya to the nearest bathroom and a clean clothes for his change.

“Kariya?” he called, startled to see that the younger had fallen asleep in the tub. “Seriously?”

He pulled him up from the water with him peacefully sleeping. He looked even younger like that. The other’s body was so thin and full of scars, with nothing indicating he had learnt any magic. Tokiomi grumbled angrily as he clothed the man and put him on the guest room. “Troublesome. What am I? A Servant?”

The next day, Kariya apologized a lot for his behavior before leaving. He looked like he was bracing himself to delve to the deepest pit of hell.

He decided later, much later, that the Matou was too much trouble for his worth. He was clumsy, forgetful and lived in his own world, which was under the rock. What kind of person who did not know about Nint*ndo? Or Pok*mon? Tokiomi took it to himself to educate this ignorant child with knowledge of non-magical folk.

***

His eyebrows twitched in irritation. They just went to a festival yesterday, he was so ready to prove to Kariya that he was better than him at the goldfish scooping, showing the captured goldfish he brought, only to be told by his classmate later that Kariya did not come to school. The teacher declared that he was sick.

Well, Kariya did seem sickly. So he let this pass.

The next day, the younger did not come to class again. And so was the one after.

He came back a week later, looking so pale and still smiling that smile of his. Apologising for making them worry. There was something wrong with him, that was sure.

Even until his death, Tokiomi never realized how fake the smile was and how defeated his old best friend had been feeling even since they were so young.

* * *

Zenjou Aoi was not a mage. She did not have any magical circuits on her body even though her family was a descendant of one. Yet she grew up knowing magic, what best to use for a spell, what was the worst to do so that she would not bother her would be spouse and grew up to recognize where she stood, what was expected from the Mage society.

But Zenjou Aoi was not only a human with a mage upbringing. She was also a girl with wishes, hopes and dreams. She knew she must discard them when she was older, but for a twelve old girl, it was enough to make her playing around making new friends, wishing one of them would swept her away and became her prince charming.

It was just another pointless dream amidst of hundreds or thousands others senseless human’s wishes, but she indulged them as she dragged yet another hopeless boy and another ignorant one. By befriending with the two Magi heirs, her future standing was affirmed, regardless of her dreams.

However, she never expected the Tohsaka’s successor to be such a charming (although he was dense) and gentle. He was a magus, with magi training and personality. He was a Magus before he was a human, everything she had resented yet it was the way she was brought up. And she fell in love with it anyway.

It was full of contradiction and she embraced it nonetheless.

Because Tohsaka Tokiomi understood her. They both were just a speck of dust in the middle of  thousands of years of the Magi cultures. They both hated it but it was what made them. It was their core as humans. So they tried to be the best amidst of it all, to be the ones that could differ from yet the same from the others. Those similarities were what made her fell in love with him.

On the contrary, the Matou’s scion was cold and aloof. He stood alone however hard she tried to coax him out. Never to get close with them, yet with he acted with those deceiving behaviors. He behaved as if he was kind, defenseless, needed to be protected, but he hid all of his real self in those metal cased heart, never lashed out, never felt anything except the fear of being known.

How pitiful and despicable.

He lied to everyone, including himself. It was why she was disgusted by him the most, even more than the way of Magi.

She was tired to try and change his way. Which was why she was not surprised later, when he ran away from his responsibilities as the Matou successor. He never loved anyone nor anything, what made magic the same? He would run away from magic too when he got close with it. There was no exception.

* * *

For the long time he had as a teacher, he had seen many cases of humanity's ugliness. Bullying was the most common, following close was substance abuse: drugs, alcohol, or tobacco; the rarer one but still a problem was abuse by parents.

To see one of his students, with a great attendance record, rarely seen anymore was a great head scratcher. Even more when he grew more and more withdrawn from the others. Flinched at the mere mention of home and tried as best as he could to delay his coming back. He was as thin as a skeleton, with many bruises and scars which could be seen during the PE class. Avoided other people, not even his best friends, touching him. There was many points shown at once that he never even hesitated to classify the root of the problem.

He got close the older brother first. This type of things could not be lightly handled.

“Byakuya- _kun_ ,” he asked, “do you have time for a moment?”

The class whispered loudly, started to think the worst of the situation.

“Am I in trouble, _sensei_?”

“No, but there is something I want to discuss with you. Please follow me to the counselling room, it has better privacy,” he explained. The student nodded and followed him.

“You see, I'm your brother’s homeroom teacher,” he started after he locked the door, watching the younger’s expression carefully. “His attendance score is getting lower.”

Young Byakuya’s face paled. “He… he’s sick. Grandfather insisted for him to stay home, sometimes.”

There was no sign of lying showed. “I see. You're living with your Grandfather, aren't you? Are you close with your father?”

“Grandfather doesn't like father much, we, my brother and I, don't exactly see him alot,” he shrugged, sweats began to form, meant he was getting more nervous with his questions. He was getting close.

“How about your mother?”

The boy winced, “She… is unwell. Grandfather said she doesn't have much time left.”

 _Grandfather again?_ “I'm sorry to hear that.”

“It's alright, we know that it will happen. Grandfather said Kariya's also the same, so… yeah.”

“You're with your Grandfather a lot then?”

Byakuya's shook his head. “Grandfather is… closer with Kariya,” he answered with a quiver on his voice.

 _Bingo_.

“I see,” he paused wondering how should he go next. “Sounds like your Grandfather cares so much about your brother,” he said gently, reeling for another response.

The older of Matou brother flinched hard, it was impossible to miss that. He nodded tensely. He looked at him soon after, eyes widen with realization before steeling it as his own resolution. “ _Sensei_ , my Grandfather is a very powerful man.”

He blinked at the implication the other just gave. “I see. What would you suggest then, Matou- _kun_?”

He gave his words a moment to ponder at. “I… I don't know,” his voice wavered. “He had been doing that for a long time, even Father get kicked out of the house for trying to do something. Mother is dying for it. I don't know what I can _do_.”

The situation… was a lot worse than he thought.

He would not give up, not with a child needed his help so much.

He went to the Tohsaka's family only child, asking about his friend. The kid was the densest one he ever got the pleasure to meet. He said that the Matou youngest’s body was full of scars and that he avoided people, even though he liked crowded place a lot. He also said that his best friend was weirdly not knowing stuffs that other students usually know of. Like games or cartoon that even parents watched (one of his own guilty pleasure even).

Zenjou Aoi’s answers were even weirder. Trust an unusual kid to befriend with unusual people. She said that Kariya was always so distanced. He kept to himself, kind yet cold at the same time. He never let anyone close, never trusted anyone, never repaid her back for her kindness.

It was a weird way to see the young boy, but he could understand the implication her response had painted. Even though the kid was upset that she could not be close with her friend.

He went to see a representative from the Department of Justice, yet was denied to even make a case when the name of Matou was uttered.

The words of young Matou Byakuya ran inside his head. ' _Grandfather is a very powerful man_.’

He vented to his best friend, drunk beyond the advisable limit, “I just want to save that child,” he grumbled.

His best friend looked at him with knowing eyes and sighed. “Who's your fighting for again?” the other grumbled.

“A student that I am _responsible_ for, what kind of teacher am I?” the said teacher whined.

“Name,” his best friend grunted in irritation. He was not used to deal with drunk people.

“Kariya, Matou Kariya,” he answered and drank another glass of _sake_. He did not recognise the other slowed and stopped for a moment for recognizing the name. “Matou?”

He nodded and drank again, “His grandpa is powerful, some that bit even the police nor lawyers want to deal with.”

“Of _course_ he is, are you stupid?” His companion outraged. “Even though you turned your back to the magical world, you should recognize the family name, bastard!”

“Matou…? Hnn…” he raked his brain for an answer as he had left those world too long ago to remember _names_ clearly, especially with his now alcohol muddled brain. “Makiri Zouken...? Makiri Zolgen!”

His friend sighed as the realization hit him. That… _vampire_! Growling, he finished yet another cup. Shifting a little, the other glared at him, “What the hell are you thinking again?”

“Screw you.”

The mage scowled. “You really think you can save the boy, _sensei_?”

It was the title he got for being a teacher for so long, he was proud of it, but when his friend called him that, it felt like a mockery.

“At least I know _that_ world is full of foul stuffs,” he retorted back, getting more sober ever since the name of Makiri Zolgen was uttered. “And managed to get out.”

His friend scoffed again. “The Matou family was a highly respected family of Magi, one of the founder of this city. They have perfected the way of controlling Worms Familiar. How do you think you can save the boy?” he repeated his earlier question.

“By now, I would assume that he was taught his family’s magic, I heard it’s really painful by the way, and it defiles the user’s body in ways one can’t imagine. Even if the boy wanted out, he can’t as the worms would nest on his physique by now. Even more vexing on his mental state,” his friend laid all the troubles he had to face.

He gritted his teeth, listening to those words. How such an innocent young boy was violated like that. The image of the boy tired looks flickered on his mind, those eyes screaming for help silently. The despondent expression when nobody could understand him. His body moved with hopelessness when he walked back home, yet still smiling when confronted, because he did not want others to be on his feet. “I still want to help him. Nobody should be forced of that.”

The magus examined him critically before nodded in exasperation. “I see. If the boy asked you for help then, tell me. I might know a way to dispose those familiars from his body.” With that sentences, he placed his glass to the table before walked out the bar.

“Thank you, my friend,” he whispered to the wind, wondering if the other would even catch it.

Years later, he was still trying to get close with the boy, dropping subtle signs he had no doubt the perceptive boy caught yet had grown even more withdrawn than before. No passion, no ambition, nothing tying him to this world except his love for his lady friend and the loyalty held for his best friend. Watching him like that somehow gave him hope, because maybe, just maybe, he had the probability to save the younger boy.

True to his belief, the boy came to him, tears on his eyes yet burning with desperation and strength. “ _Sensei_ , would you help me?”

* * *

Matou Kariya was 18 when he ran away to his kind teacher. Who had said he was there if he wanted help, whenever it would be. The homeroom teacher of his for 3 whole years of junior years, and still in contact with him even when he was in the high school. He felt like his heart would burst in happiness when the teacher said _yes_.

A year later, he was free from the worms and was smuggled away from Fuyuki City. He tried his best to fit the human society while avoiding the Magi one. Laughing at those words of his co-workers when they talked on and on about the non-existent magic granting spells, their imagination ran wild by wishing something that could, _should_ never be attained.

He cut off his ties to the Magic society, from Tohsaka Tokiomi and Zenjou Aoi. Wishing them the best but not coming back to those wrenched dark world.

Yet, he did came back when he got the invitation.

“Toki— I mean, Tohsaka- _san_ , congratulation. You too, Zen… uh, Tohsaka- _san_ ,” he complimented his old friends a week before their marriage. He was heartbroken, sure, but if Aoi was happy he would never reject their happiness. Aoi was in love with the other Magus since they were young after all.

“Call us by our first names, Kariya- _kun_ ,” Aoi laughed, “It’s confusing since we’re both Tohsaka now.”

Tokiomi scoffed, “And you never lost that privilege, idiot. You’re our best friend, are you not? Even though you’re foolish for ditching the Magic Society.”

He smiled at his words, laughed softly. “Of course, Tokiomi- _kun_ , Aoi- _san_.”

They both blinked at him, before shrugging, totally in sync with each other. “Whatever,” Tokiomi grumbled. “Now, would you grace our wedding by being my best man?”

Kariya gasped, gaping at them both. Aoi nodded gently, chuckling at his response. “We’ve talked you know. Who would be better than our best friend?”

“Really? I would be honored,” he grinned at them before turning to Tokiomi in mock glare. “If you hurt her though, I would never forgive you, Tokiomi- _k_ _un_.”

Tokiomi glanced at him with indecipherable look, “I see. I will try my best then, as the anger of Kariya is _so scary_.”

“Are you insulting me?”

“That’s true, isn’t it?” Aoi joined their joking conversation. “Kariya- _kun_ never get angry.”

“I have!” he protested. The three of them laughed. With a smile that unusual on his face, Tokiomi extend his hand to his shoulder, whispering to his ears that made him felt ticklish. “I’m glad you found yourself, Kariya. I was devastated, you know, when you suddenly declare that you’re leaving. Even though you finally got engaged with Aoi.”

Kariya flushed at his words. “I _am_ glad that I got engaged. But it’s before I know what’s my grandfather planned for our marriage,” he mumbled silently, leaving both of his best friends at lost at his words. “And Aoi- _san_ is always in love with you anyway, Tokiomi- _kun_.”

This time, Tokiomi was the one to blush. “Y— you…!”

He chuckled. “You never realized that?” he teased his friends, Even Aoi’s cheeks reddened. “Kariya- _kun_ !”

***

Their wedding was shimmering with light, just like the time where the three of them watched those fireworks during a festival. He stood, smiling at his best friends who were standing in front of the room.

“My first time meeting with those two, I would have never expected this day would come,” he started his speech. Still looking at the glimmering of the now wedded pair.

“At the time, I was just a little brat and so they were too. I could not ask for people to spend my time with. They both are strong people, kind and dedicated. Their cat and mouse games were hard for me to endure. Especially since I had made hundreds chances for them to get on with it.”

All the people there laughed.

“It was exhausting too, let me tell you,” he paused grinning at their pouting faces, “I have never seen a more dense person than Tokiomi- _kun_ . Or a more shy person than Aoi- _s_ _an_ . One time, Aoi- _san_ cooked a meal for Tokiomi- _kun_. Of course, being as thick headed as he was, he shared it with me. I was never that exasperated as I was then.”

Cue another ripples of laughter.

“But I am glad those bumpy ride had help us to this day. I wish that your marriage will be as smooth as your friendship, for it will be filled with laughter and love, just as the beginning of your romance.

“Cheers to the bride and groom!”

A loud roar filled the room and Aoi laughed like a music that filled his ears with Tokiomi who pulled him to a hug. He joined them, not noticing the tears on his face was from laughter or sadness.

* * *

Matou Byakuya was not magically talented. It was shoved to his face by Grandfather more than a few times, that was why he liked Kariya more. He envied his brother’s talent so much, avoiding him as a way to retaliate.

That was until Kariya’s screaming every nights and their little family could do nothing. Those screams still haunted his dreams even he was in adulthood. Those eyes that held no emotion when he was finished with the ‘session’. Those small body that marked with scars and the discoloration of the skin. How he limped to his bed and cried silently.

And he still evaded his brother as best as he could. Not disgusted, nothing like that. But because his powerlessness to help him, so he was repulsed by himself.

His drunkard of a father opposed Grandfather for it and he soon died being thrown to the worms. His Grandfather was now his father in the eyes of laws. His mother, kind, pacifist Mother who never really taught them anything but being kind to others, soon followed the love of her live, being Grandfather’s mana supply for so long.

And now they only had each other for support and yet Byakuya could not save his younger brother from those disgusting worms either.

He told the teacher a little bit of truth and many lies regarding their living place when the teacher was concerned of Kariya’s well being. He had thought the teacher would soon follow the dead because digging too much. It was not the first time that happened, would not be the last. He had accepted that it was his fate to listen to his brother’s pain every night because he was powerless to stop it. Just like Kariya had resigned to his fate for the Matou house.

But the teacher returned, with new knowledge of one Makiri Zolgen.

His life seemed brighter after, maybe he had some chances?

Kariya was gone, the last strand of his conscience was the love of his live. Zouken had threatened that and now Kariya was back to his own mind to leave for a better live.

But now all his responsibilities were dumped on him. How he hated it, loathed Grandfather, despised the hold he had of him. He knew his intervention in Kariya’s escape. As punishment, he was thrown to the worms, just like Father, just like Mother, Kariya and countless before him.

It was only once, but it was enough. How that Kariya still fought back even though he was there innumerable times?

He hated Kariya, resented him for running away, leaving him here to deal with the repercussion. Despised him for what he should have done long time ago, cursed him for his weakness, abhorred his younger brother because it was his fault now Byakuya was left in this bleak world.

But Kariya came back, how stupid was he?

Because Grandfather, now Father, had a girl, his old best friends’ child, on his grasps. He never understood Kariya, why he fought so strongly, for what he returned to this cruel and painful world? Just to die in the upcoming Grail War, what a foolish person.

He drank, and drank, just like his father. Forget, he just wanted to forget this dark and desolate reality. Ignore them, they would go away. Yes, like his wife and his family. If he shut his eyes and looked away, they would not be there anymore.

 _Forget_ . _Resent_. What was his purpose again?

* * *

 Matou Kariya was 28 when he heard the news. Tokiomi was a Magus before he was a man, he knew that very well.

“So you return,” the voice of his nightmares boomed. He bit his lower lip, held back tears that threaten to flow. “I thought I told you never to show your face in front of me again."

"I got wind of something inexcusable. About how the Matou house is carrying out some outrageous disgrace. I heard that you took in the second daughter of the Tohsaka. Do you want to preserve the Matou lineage of magi that much?"

And thus, that was the beginning of the end for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hated the Matou family, even more so than the Black house from HP. Somehow, they were similar, for me. Byakuya as a character is not really explored in the canon, so I am sorry if someone who is more knowledgeable in the verse think it's OOC. He fell into insanity, yep.


End file.
